Oh hello - didn't see you there

Hey there world of the widened interwebs stuff. I know I've been away for a while and I'm sorry. What's that? No baby, don't be like that. 

I've just been pretend-super-busy with things. I'm working and have been for just over a week now. I got to work the cash register which I admittedly hated. I'm learning that I'm really not as much a fan of these 6am shifts as I thought I would be. I think I'm getting old. I like that I'm done by like 11:30 and have the entire day ahead of me, but it doesn't really fit my night owl lifestyle overall. Especially since I still have trouble falling asleep before 2am. And when you have to get up by 5:15, it doesn't leave one with much energy left. So I'm still searching for another job. I actually applied for one on Monday which allows me to utilize my masters degree! One of the only ones in the state of ohio where I can do that. Still waiting to hear back. And their ad basically was a reflection of a bad date. We'll call you, you don't call us. But we will definitely call you if we're interested later. And now here I am, sitting around like a young guy desperate for a good date (or any date), and just waiting and hoping. I really would love for this to work out. Which is interesting in some ways, because the more I've been thinking about the future, the more I begin to think about trying to get into mental health as a "past life" basically. Which makes waiting for a job that will put me right back into it an interesting dichotomy. Hopefully it works out though and they can be just a little bit flexible with my schedule because I would definitely be making more money with this job, even on a part-time basis. Plus I wouldn't feel like my last 5 years was a complete waste at least (in regards to my education that is). 

Roomie came home a little over two weeks ago and had something fun to report. Apparently someone I considered a decent acquaintance that worked through school asked about me the other day and then she provided her input on the situation. From her perspective, I am "someone who needs love" to function. She thinks that I "just let love take priority and fell behind in school." Essentially, it became obvious that she truly has no idea what she was talking about. If she knew me at all she would have known that dating has basically never been a priority of mine. Granted, I had some phases when I was certainly actively looking to date; however, I'm also the kind of guy who has been able to function with only physical interactions. I have definitely had my share of friends with benefits and done more than well with that. I definitely had to turn down some dates with fuck buddies because I was not at all looking for more than that. So to hear someone say that she feels I just can't function without someone loving me is hilarious. I have enough love from friends and family that I certainly do not need a romantic relationship - it's a choice that I'm making right now. After hearing all of this though, I did have to let Jared know that he ruined my life (yet again!) and he abruptly apologized for it. I'm still in the process of cutting off ties to professional organizations and insurance companies who want my money. I wish there was a quick and easy way to say "yo everyone - I'm out." It's also interesting still having people on my Facebook profile from the program as well as still trying to stay close with one friend in particular. It makes me feel a little bit insecure at times and like a total failure; however, I then realize that I was truly screwed and continue to be screwed because of our flawed justice system. Particularly this flawed ass 6th circuit bullshit. These people gotta get their shit together. 

Ooohhhhh freaky cats picture: 

The background is where it's at - my little creeper-boy. 

What the hell is all this "arctic bomb" talk going on anyways? Why didn't we stick with "polar vortex?" I feel like it's a better description of what is happening here in Ohio. Plus it doesn't sound like a shot that I would take at the bar the next time I'm there. But if it were a shot, I would bet that it was minty flavored and I wouldn't really be a fan anyways. You know what else shot sucks though? A 252 - just had one for the first time the other night. The night that I got a ride home from a friend who is also the bartender. It was a hazy night overall, but I made it home safely. That is, after my phone had been dead for most of the night. Jared was pretty pissed by the time I got home which I surely didn't blame him for. This was Monday when this happened. It was an exciting Monday for the most part (at least for me). It started with work which went by quickly then I went home and napped until I met some people out at Taco Monday - tacos for like $1.50 each (chicken and beef) at a bar down the road. So we started there, hung out for a bit and eventually went to the bar. The bar was dead inside - maybe two other people there besides the 5 of us who drove down to hang out. Eventually more people showed up but by then it was getting late and I was a few drinks in. My friend who bought me the 252 had to be carried out of the bar. Also, I was the youngest guy in there for quite some time - I'm not sure I've ever felt as much like a piece of meat then that night. I won't lie, some of the attention was definitely fun, but then some of it was not, especially when they all start to get catty and I felt like I was being portrayed as a possession that was briefly fought over. It was weird. 

The trip to Disney World happens in a few weeks and I'm mostly excited about that. I have some spending money on the way so that should help. One thing that I should mention about Disney though: we have a history. Not necessarily a good history though. And in disney's defense, it's not really his fault. Disney was supposed to be the highlight of one of our trips to Florida when I was in my teens. I had never been to Disney before; I had the luxury of going to Dollywood (yes, like Dolly Parton's theme park) when I was much younger (about 5 I believe) and I had been to Wyandot Lake and the Columbus zoo and COSI (the interactive science museum, not the brunch-time restaurant), but never Disney. My mom bought the tickets through AAA a few weeks before we were scheduled to go, which good for my mom! Doing things early isn't really her thing (I know the feels). She bought tickets that gave us access to ALLLLL of the parks at the time. Anyways the trip down went pretty smoothly and blah blah blah. We made it to Disney and we had a pretty solid first day. The plan was that next day, we were gonna hit up the next park. Well the tickets from AAA had different ideas. While we were there and trying to get anywhere else around Disney, we had the pleasure of learning that the tickets we bought didn't have that function ... We were screwed. I was not pleased and really not totally impressed with what I saw of Disney anyways and so what happened for a good bit of the time that we were there is that my dad and I hung out outside and around the hotel while everyone else went out and about. I've been assured that we will have access to all of the parks this year. Moreover, I'm looking forward to being a grown ass man and enjoyin some of the more adult places around Disney. However, there will be sooo many kids on the trip with us and a bossy boyfriend. I generally don't do bossy very well, and certainly won't do it well on vacation when I'm trying to relax and do some things that may not be part of the intended plan that Jared has so I'm anticipating that we will butt heads. We shall see.

I need money so badly and I really don't foresee myself being at target any longer than I have to. Also those bastards better have accurately recorded my vacation days since I told them right before they even agreed to hire me. Also, I'm not exactly sure how to work the system to make sure of all that anyways, so I'm doubly hopeful. I'm fortunate to have a job, but also not a fan of being talked to like I am much less educated than I am which does happen on ocassion while I'm there. 

I need to go to the gym ... May need to get my own membership since Jared likes going in the mornings and I'm not really a fan and can't go without him since I don't have my own membership. 

Can't remember whether or not I've done this already, but I'll leave you all with a quick snipit of my life: 

Up-Dayton (LOL get it?! Lolololol *lolz become sad tears*)

I've been slacking on this whole blog thing again so I'll jump right back into it. I have to review my past post though to know where I left off.  Ahhhh yes - post Halloween party. What the hell has happened since then? Let's see, let's see ...

I got a new car! LOL jk - I don't even have a damn job yet. However, I do have an upcoming telephone interview with Target so that should be exciting. I know retail sucks generally (via my own past experiences with it), however I am also applying for positions that don't involve much interaction with customers so that's a plus. Dealing with customers in retail is one of the worst things - I'm not a fan of getting paid to be treated like shit like I was at the dollar store waaaayyyyyy back in the day so I like not having that responsibility at this point in time. If I am hired, they intend to cross-train me though so I could interact with those damn people who are the worst. I remember Sundays being the most excruciating days in retail because, oddly, the people coming in after church were ritually the most abrasive, demanding and entitled people that came in. And thinking about this leads me into Black Friday shoppers. Does anyone remember the hype surrounding this movie? 

I'm pretty sure Black Friday is essentially the equivalent of a real life Purge. Just take some time and think about it. People getting literally trampled and stampeded (word?) to death; not a single fuck is given as people continue shopping for those deals. Fights break out over Elmo dolls; the verbal and physical abuse runs rampant and nobody gives a damn; theft of some sort is expected even with vamped up security. It's complete chaos ... And for some reason it's completely anticipated and basically acceptable. We have to publish lists of ways that people can stay safe on Black Friday - that's a little intense. I've gone Black Friday shopping with people twice. Mind you, it wasn't for myself and I wasn't buying gifts for anyone, I was helping out my aunt and mother. It's like a human zoo where all of the people have just busted out of their cages. Some of my favorite Black Friday related memes: 

I think we have our shit a little backwards, but I guess that's just the way of things for the moment. 

The longer I'm away from the psych field, the more I'm realizing that I don't exactly miss all the responsibility associated with the field. One concept that has always been a bit elusive and (I feel) arbitrary is the professional identity. Basically, you're expected to change your life to reflect the aspects of the field. To me, this is extremely interesting because two things that psychology and counseling fields strive for (typically) are congruence and genuineness. However, this genuineness has to fall within the confines of what is acceptable to the field (aka, whatever  richer white people determine is acceptable). White people are the worst. 

We went to a Halloween party last night. It was pretty awkward at first because we literally did not know a single person when we first arrived. Apparently, my friend who invited us had left as we were arriving. I actually remember seeing him leave, but didn't realize it was him. So Jared and I basically looked like two dudes that just wandered in to this party and chilled out on the couch for a bit before going outside to introduce ourselves to a few people. My friend eventually arrived (he was Satan), and then we took 3 shots back to back and the fun began. It was a pretty good time; however, most everyone ended up leaving and going to the bars not too far from the party, but far enough that you couldn't walk to get there. It was a little bizarre because why the hell would you leave a party with free booze to go to a crowded downtown event? Didn't make sense to me, and apparently not a lot to them either because they all came back like an hour and a half later. It was cool getting to see a friend I hadn't seen in years and also returning some things of his I had from about 6 years ago haha. 

We were bro'ed out though - it was pretty classy. It was also crazy awesome outside (shout out to global warming). Fun times. Also last night was the first time ever Jared has had Dominoes pizza! I was truly dumbfounded and amazed. So yeah ... 

Does anyone ever leave comments on these Internets? I'm a little sad that nobody is even trying to troll me :-(  haters are my motivators. 

Share if ...

Everyone just take a minute to observe this little sign-thingy. "Share if you do not use: crack, heroin, meth or cocaine." Man, glad they didn't put any other major drugs. I would've been screwed if they mentioned roofies, LSD or any anabolics (*phew*). Additionally, it goes on to mention that if you share this post, "this will prove that marijuana is not a gateway drug." Now I know a ton of people who smoke marijuana - it's becoming a more acceptable practice as the world turns. The thing is, I personally know a lot of educated pot-heads. If a single one of them ever showed me something like the post above and somehow truly believed in it, I would be forced to assault said person. I see the post as a major step back in acknowledging education and responsible use of marijuana. The only damn thing that the post "proves" is that people probably aren't going to admit if they use crack, meth, heroin or cocaine. It has absolutely nothing to do with marijuana use whatsoever. So to those of you who smoke marijuana, please don't let the people who make those kinds of posts be the leaders of a legalization movement. 

Life is becoming interesting. I am officially a student at the local community college and will be starting in January. In the meantime, I have to brush up on my signing A LOT. It's a nicely sized and confusing campus. One thing I like about it is that it assigns numbers to the buildings instead of unnecessary and long names. For example, most of my classes will take place in building 9, not "John Steven Franklin Jehosifat McDillybar and Janice his wife Memorial Hall of Wonders" so that's a plus. Highlight of the trip there (other than going around the visitor parking area like 7 times before getting into it) was going to the financial aid office and having a guy tell me that I would be better off getting a job with my masters and bachelors degrees than going back to school for something else. He was concerned about me being in debt my whole life. I just kinda laughed aloud and said something along the lines of "yeah it would be nice if I could do that." Well thanks a ton sir - you know I never thought that getting a job would probably be better for me than not doing it. Thank you - you've truly changed my life. 

There was this sink at the Mexican restaurant the other day. I mean, I'm sure it's not the first time it was there but anyways - I was perplexed when I went to wash my hands. I pushed down the thing in the middle of the bigger bowl, and ended up closing the drain. So after I pressed it up and down a few more times, I explored the upper panel. The water just kinda falls out after you move the handle one direction or another. Doesn't it look festive though?! 

These were the costumes that Jared and I wore for the party. Notice the shackles reaching our forearms. They may not have been made for hands - or at least not for hands of people without elephantitis. 

So much cleaning

This is my friend from just a little bit ago. It's been a busy evening full of lots of cleaning and getting this place really together for the festivities tomorrow. I must say, the place is looking damn good ... Except Jared's room. It's less of a disaster since I went in there earlier, but it could be worse (it could be Jud's room). Just started laundry and now I'm relaxing. The cats are freaking out because apparently I overloaded the washer and it's obviously trying to murder them based on the sounds it's making. Overall, I'm quite pleased with how the place looks. I was briefly concerned about mopping the floors buuuuuut naaaahhhhhh. People are probably gonna scuff it up tomorrow anyways so I'll get to it some other time. We have soooo many towels!! I really don't know why we have so many between just Jared and I. 

In case you didn't know, Snicker doodles are the shit! I've been trying to cut back a lot on sweets and excess carbs (pasta really) and I've done a pretty good job. Lost 4 pounds in the past 2 weeks! But when I saw that beautiful and delicious cookie earlier today, I just couldn't help myself - I had to have it. And it was awesome. And I won't bore you with the other food I've had today, especially since the cookie was the highlight. 

I've been accepted at the local community college and may be starting classes for sign language interpreting as early as October 20, so that's legit. I just had an existential moment ... I'm cleaning not just the house, but my life ... It's such an apt metaphor for life right now. A lot of cleaning out a few things and some re-organizing and other things. Also it's bed time for me so short update. 

Important thing before bed: always try and believe in yourself. 

Updated update (post rummy bears)

RUMMY BEARS! TTYL! 

Ok coming back to this now. The rummy bears are delicious. I'm excited about the party this Friday - it'll be nice to see some people and catch up. Sadly it's Monday though and Friday is a bit far off at the moment. Apparently I'm accepted to school again - not the last one because no thanks but a local community college and I'm gonna be at least starting in sign language interpreting. I'm pretty excited about it. If everything goes well and quickly in these next few days, I may be registered for classes beginning October 20th. It would be nice to not have to start paying back loans at least :-/ 

Just taking a short break from cleaning the house now. It's not that it's messy messy, there's just a shit ton of stuff out of place in the living room is my overall assessment. I also am itchy and need to shave my face. I've lost like 4 pounds almost in a little over a week! It's exciting stuff! I've been going to the gym with Jared and in the meantime getting my Wii Fit on. I have to say, I admire Wii Fit's snarky attitude - it truly makes my day after I get over the self-loathing it induces. Following a little workout, Wii Fit and I can look back and laugh about things like the time it made an "ooh" noise when I stepped on the balance board or the time it accused me of lying about why I've gained weight. Good times. 

This stuff is yummy. Finished it up last night. I'm not sure if I've talked about the gay bar before, but it's typically an older crowd. I had the luxury of having my ass grabbed multiple times by a drunk 41-year-old who was incredibly obnoxious and invasive. I was not a fan; although, Jared and I both got free drinks out of it AND $4. It was a little odd. I feel that this experience is just a glimpse into the bullshit that women have to deal with at bars and if that's the case, bravo for putting up with the bullshit. It takes a lot of courage to continue to live your life with creepy asshats all around so kudos for working in a shitty system. I'm hoping that the system changes and I'll do what I can to help out :-/. Apparently this guy tips people and puts money in their shirts and pants if he likes their singing and thinks they're cute. I was really confused when he asked me why I wasn't tipping Jared as he was on stage. I really didn't know what he meant. I figured because he was a little pervy, he probably meant why wasn't I giving Jared a blowjob while he was up on stage. Not that I don't see the bar as that kind of place necessarily, but I was thoroughly confuddled (I think this is the first time I've ever used this word). It was overall a good time and I'm glad that the guy eventually got lost. Jared also had an interesting experience. Since he isn't blogging right now, I'll take the reins on this one. So Jared walks into the bathroom and he gets followed by this older gent. I'm not sure how old he was, but it becomes a little clearer when Jared explains that this guy told him that he looked like his dead grandson ... And that he was cute ... A few disturbing layers to that info. First of all, bathroom convos can be a little awkward in their own right. I mean, two grown ass men standing there pissing - it's an odd environment for a conversation. Secondly, "you look like my dead grandson" - HOW IS THIS A DECENT CONVERSATION STARTER?! And follow-up; calling someone "cute" after you've told them they look like a dead relative is creepy. Also, what does that say about your relationship with your dead grandson, sir?! Jared let him know that he was at the bar with his boyfriend. Old boy tells him that he should dump his bf and go home with him. So awkward things all around really. And after leaving the bathroom, old dude talked to his friends who basically told him that his greeting (ya know, the you look like my cute dead grandson line) is no way to get to know someone and "it wouldn't work." Dude chases down Jared from the bathroom, intertwines his arm with Jared's and lets him know this. As they walk away, old boy says "ok see you at my place later, Jared!" And Jared walks off. Interesting people out there. 

I've been getting rid of the things that I got from my old school the past few days. It may seem a bit childish and I feel some legit loss in getting rid of some of the great shirts, and it also is a bit cathartic as well. Mixed feelings - surprise - life. I wanna finger paint for some reason. But I should clean some more. 

I've received two big bits of news from family members lately. It's truly an interesting time for quite a few of us now. I'm hoping things work out well. Oh! Shit that reminds me that it's my great aunt's birthday today so I should follow up on that. I hope I get a job soon so I can actually spend money to make ends meet, first of all, but to eventually buy people gifts at some point too. I couldn't afford to get my nephew a gift and the following week I couldn't afford to drive back to my hometown to celebrate my aunt's birthday - LAAAAAAME. I've been good about not turning to comfort food though hahaha ... For real though. I could have gained a lot more weight through all this and I've actually lost some of what I gained so yay for me. 

GO TIME! More cleaning to do. 

Also, I would love to know anything about the people who stumble across and actually read this blog, so if you're able to, please leave me something in the comments. I would appreciate it! 

My lucky for-tune

So this was my fortune the other night. Where to start? "Relationships is like fingers of you hand ..." That's an interesting enough start. But then it keeps going. "'One' cannot do much." I'm thinking that it was intended to basically imply something along the lines of one is the loneliest number. But the way my mind reads it, moral of the story become "you should be a polygamist." We shall see, fortune cookie, but I doubt that Jared will be happy about that ...

I've been all up on this Childish Gambino shit alllll day. Donald Glover is generally a pretty cool guy but this music is pretty damn solid too. I like that he really uses the medium to speak his mind, especially when it comes to issues of race and inequality. Pretty cool stuff really. Now I need to get the albums - ALLLL OF THEM. I also need to get a damn job. Between tomorrow and Sunday I intend to apply to a total of 10 jobs, even if I'm not thrilled about them. At this point, I just need money. Maybe polygamy can help me raise money somehow. I've heard that sugar daddies are never really out of season. Not sure where the hell I would've heard something like that though. 

It's frustrating applying for jobs and following but then never hearing anything back. I'm just over here like 

I would love to get some extra cash sometime soon enough too so I can get my second tattoo. I'm not completely sure what it will be yet, but there are several concepts I have that I want to somehow combine. 

One thing that I am sure of is that the upcoming costume party should be fantastical. It's a week away and hopefully Jared doesn't get more anxious the closer we get or there may not be a couples' costume thing going on ... Because I may smother him. Hopefully people respond very soon about whether or not they will be able to attend. I know these damn people get on Facebook! It's not that difficult to decide yes or no on this - it really isn't a life altering decision. Not for me at least.

The new Smash Bros is a good time on the 3DS. Granted I'm not a fan of the transition from the console to a 3DS, but it's still pretty solid. And gosh I'm soooo good at it right now. I wish I could make money being awesome at video games. I would have been making bank for like 2 decades now *le sigh*. I guess that's actually kind of a thing that happens. There's the Twitch website where you can post ads and people will watch you play games. I'm afraid to think of what my life would be like if that was a legit money-making medium for me. I'd be swoll - but only in my tummy area unfortunately. 

I used a different setting on the elliptical today. It was nice not being harassed by the machine for my heart rate the entire time. I mean damn, machine; I gotta use my hands for like drinking water or responding to a text or finding/skipping music. Get off my ass, machine! You're not the boss of me >:-/ 

The hers day

For those who may be panicking about the arrival of Ebola in the US ...

I honestly like reading a bit about conspiracy theories at times. I haven't looked up anything about Ebola, but I'm sure it won't be hard to find. Conspiracy theories have an interesting effect I think and are incredibly interesting to read. Of course, they're always about either the government or the gays (ones I've seen anyways), but still can be good reads. 

Last month was Niall's month on my 1D calendar. I don't think he's much my type. Firstly, I've never really been about blondes. For some reason, it's always been about darker hair for me. I mean, looking at his pic he has a bit of both for sure. But nahhhh. I wonder how many fan girls will try to destroy me for that comment. Personally, I'm a fan of team Zayne. Liam isn't bad but the fact that his name is the same as my nephew makes me uncomfortable. 

So women's clothes have smaller pockets than men's - what's up with that? My thought is that a team of men design them and decide that women probably always have a purse on-hand and there's no need for actual pockets. Jessi is experiencing this problem now ... With her pyjama pants. I don't think I've ever had that problem. Then again, I've never owned a Galaxy brick-phone (oooohhhhh snap). 

I've started making a tower of soaps and shampoos in our shower. It makes me wonder if construction, architecture or art are my true callings. For people who don't have a shitty skin condition, I'm not sure you could ever realize or appreciate how much work goes in to trying to clear up your skin or your scalp. It's really a full time job that doesn't pay you. And don't get me started on duck bands ...