Holy damn

I guess I can say that I am back in the blogging world. I surely didn't stay long when I first started and it's been quite a while since I've been here but I'm excited to be back. I'm hoping that this is truly a new beginning in the blogging for me and one that sticks around for a long while. 

I guess I can give updates on my life since I know so many people are SUUUUUUPERRR concerned about me having left bahaha. For those people who may be familiar with my blog, it started out as me talking about my experiences with the Insanity workout. Let me just say that it was genuinely a fantastic, vomit-inducing experience. I really did enjoy my time utilizing the program. However, like many things I have started in my life, I was unable to finish it. I have found that there are few things that I'm able to truly dedicate time and effort into and I have certainly learned that an entire hour to hour and a half workout is not one of those things. I admit though - I miss Shaun T :-/ and maybe even Crybaby Chris and - I'll say it - perhaps even Tanya (feels weird to type). I felt at that point in my life I was truly accomplishing something and making real strides. However, life is a tricky little minx (that means something). I've never been a fan of baseball (or many sports for that matter), but I surely have experienced quite a few curveballs in my day. Turns out one of the curveballs slammed me in the face like, really hard. 

I'm no longer a graduate student. To say the least, my experience with my school was a fiasco. More than that, I have completely cut ties with people from the school. I notice that this is a pattern for me - once I am no longer associated with something, I am truly no longer associated with it. It just makes me think about my exes and how I don't speak to any of them after breaking up. Anyways, the more I've thought about it, the more I've realized that the thing that is most difficult for me to do is to explain my story time and again to the people I've known. And so it's just easier to not do it. And one thing that people have asked me since I started school is "How's school going?". They tend to get a little confused when I just say "it's not." Hilarity ensues - good times are had by all - perhaps a unicorn grazes in the pasture with a bear. The story is not one I will share on here. However, one thing I can truly say is that the day I stopped going to graduate school and it became real life was the day that I died a little inside. A few days later was the day I realized that if I ever want to get a real job, I have to go back to school. Otherwise, I just get to carry this debt with me for the next century (lol can you imagine if I lived that long?! Uggghhhhhh) and talk about all the things I could have done with my life. 

So, I am currently in the midst of finding a job and let me tell you, this process truly sucks. Not that it's impossible but one thing I'm finding is that I'm a picky bastard about this. I've never ever ever wanted to work in the food industry. My inner fat-kid is all for it and starts to breathe heavily at the thought of all the food, but the realistic side is like "meh." I just applied to a hospital which has several different positions open so we will see if anything comes of that.

And then the rest of life! My brother is someone who likes to spend money - that's surely no secret to anyone who knows him. I can remember growing up, he always had to spend like $80+ on a pair of shoes. If I remember correctly, he had this one pair of high tops that were fucking zebra striped that he thought was the coolest thing. Meanwhile, I sat there with my shoes not giving a single shit (and truly not knowing) what brand or style they were. Essentially, my brother likes to spend money on useless shit sometimes cause it's what he's always done. So my brother ended up spending money to rent this facility for my nephew's recent birthday party. Let me tell you about this place. 

So this place he rented is about 15 minutes from our hometown - just a little ways from the local mall (Wal-mart where I'm from). We walk in and it's honestly a nice place - no quips about it whatsoever. There's a bounce house, a treehouse kind of thing with two slides, a children's picnic table, a little playhouse kid of thing that fits two tiny people, and an area where you can throw magnetic darts. So we get there and I'm excited at the prospect! Looks promising and seems to be a legit place for kids to play. My nephew gets taken into the bounce house by my sister - and he starts to lose his shit. I'm talkin screaming, crying, probably death threats and hexes in his tiny 3 year old language. I'm sure he probably peed a little. Apparently he was not at all a fan of the bounce house. It was craziness because what kid doesn't like a bounce house?! And at that point he had the place like alllll to himself. I just could not comprehend. So my sister gets him out of there and moves toward the treehouse thing with slides. Turns out that this contraption is also my nephew's natural enemy. He is not about this death house and starts to throw a fit again. We tear him away from here and just let him run. He gravitates mostly toward the little plastic house thing and the magnetic darts (which he never actually throws at the dart board because he's only 3 and still trying to figure out how hands really work - a true mystery really). These are the places he spent most of his time. Moral of the story - my brother still spends his money on useless shit as a father. Although I guess there wasn't a lot of setting up or cleaning we had to do ...? There was also an inflatable Dora the Explorer who seemed to have a melted head. It was a bit horrifying really. Let me test this photo uploading thing ...

Oh Dora, honey - who did this to you? It looks like someone just smashed an icecream cone on her head and she's just like "fuck it - the party will go on!" So good for her for being a damn champion. 

The party continues - my nephew opened presents, was really happy about that and had my dad open one of his presents in particular - a ninja turtles sword and throwing stars (he got a Leonardo pack). He's suuuppeerrrrrr excited about this thing, especially the sword, so what's he do? He takes the sword and starts to beat the shit out of my sister with it. And this thing isn't just one of those soft bullshit play swords that are made from pool noodles and wiring. This is a legit, hard plastic, welt-causing, can-make-you-bleed-if-he-hits-you-in-the-nose sword. What started out as a fun, innocent game where my sister attempted to use one of his other ninja turtles toys to block his strikes turned into a hilarious display of watching a 16 year old girl running away in fear from a 3 year old whose only intent was to pummel the bejesus out of her. Safe to say, everyone else was sooooo entertained - until he turned his sword toward them and then it all went to a dark place. I was definitely a victim for some time, but I think my dad probably got the worst of it. The cake was pretty awesome looking also! Let me see how this photo uploading works ... 

Yes - that is it. Pretty cool - I wish I could be that artsy. I also wish I had more cake in my life. 

I'm glad to be back at this and hope to have more to say in the future. Ohhhhh I should talk about experiences at the gay bar cause that's been happening lately. Oh before I forget, creepy clowns photo from the place we went. 

Nothing to see here kids - just two clowns wishing you the best happy birthday ever (since it will probably be your last if they have anything to say about it...)! 

The end for now.