On life

Being unemployed is phenomenal! It gives me so much time to catch up on things that I just couldn't do when I was in school and on practicum. For example, if I were employed, I wouldn't have had the time yesterday to clean actual shit out of my basement. I wouldn't have had the time to load and run the dishwasher ... And then unload, reload and run it again. I wouldn't nearly have as much time to clean the litter box that the cats occasionally miss. Which means I wouldn't have as much time to clean off the floors after the cats finish pooping either. (I'm starting to see a theme here...) I wouldn't have had the time to look at porn nearly as much as I have while taking a break from looking at literally over a thousand job postings. I'm still trying to figure out which of us can win the "who can sleep the longest" contest between my cats and I. I wouldn't have had the time to clean out my contacts list of people with whom I don't maintain contact. I also wouldn't have had the time to clean nearly as much as I have. And yet this place is still dirty. Either we are messy people or I'm a shitty cleaner (my guess is the former). Furthermore, I'm really diggin this whole not wearing pants ever thing. I think my roomies are less impressed. 

Also, how the hell do the people in this neighborhood always have firecrackers?! And why?! Since I first noticed it, I can't recall going a week without hearing someone setting off firecrackers. It's incredible really. I also can't remember another time that I ever saw the icecream man buy drugs during his shift. My childhood is still recovering from that incident. It's an interesting place to live, and it works somehow. Our neighbors are pretty nice though! Especially the drug dealer across the street always telling us to let him know "if [we] need anything. I'm assuming the anything part is drug related and not sexual because no. Just thinking about the neighbors reminds me of the time on Jared's birthday party when someone wandering down the street came to our backyard as we were having a fire and asked us if we knew the dude passed out in the road. We did not. However using my detective skills, I was able to deduce that the guy, whose dick was hanging out of his pants, must have gone outside, set his beer on the back of his car, whipped it out to take a piss and passed out in the process (based on physics and the trajectory of the puddle of piss close to him). The female officer was not impressed when the male officers made her pick him up and get him into the vehicle.

I think that shorter posts like this are probably what will help me make more frequent posts, so I'm gonna try this out for the time being. I also enjoy pictures, so here's one to add to the post that seems to adequately reflect my life right now. 

This is from an adult coloring book (which may be named Coloring for Adults perhaps?). Good times.